laugh at your mistakes

been really digging tommy flanagan’s album “overseas” this week, and it has allowed me to reconnect with a part of this music that i think i had lost touch with over the years.

flanagan recorded overseas in 1957 with wilbur little and elvin jones, and as far as debut albums are concerned, this stands as a statement of mastery that most artists spend a lifetime trying to reach. the album has so many little imperfections scattered throughout it, and i have come to realize that those are exactly what make it so beautiful. you can hear the trust they place in one another, the ease with which they let the music breathe, and the simple joy they take in playing together. it does not sound like they are chasing perfection, it sounds like they are just giving every part of themselves to the music.

i have noticed how strong the desire has become, both in myself and in others, to play without mistakes. and when those mistakes inevitably happen, the obsession with the fact that they occurred often keeps us from forgiving ourselves, pulling us further from being present and away from the moment itself..

i know i am guilty of this. i am a perfectionist to extreme proportions, and i absolutely believe in the pursuit of perfection when it comes to the preparation process, whether that is shedding, rehearsals, ect. but the moment you step on the bandstand, i think that mindset becomes obsolete. at that point, perfection does not matter. what matters is the honesty of the moment, the trust, the joy.

ultimately i want to get to a point in which im free from the burden of perfection, so that when i can step on to the bandstand with the freedom to enjoy myself and to serve the music in the best way i can.

jr